when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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