I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
