thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
