47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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