Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
