I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
