wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My vagina is officially offended.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
