I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
