So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
