she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
