arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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