I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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