You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
