found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
