My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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