Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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