uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
zippers are such a cool invention
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
