talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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