You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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