we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
