I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize