I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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