if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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