My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
