This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
