Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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