Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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