8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize