1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
