I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
