so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
