I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
