if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
