I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize