saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
