one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
