Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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