Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
