don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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