Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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