I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
