I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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