that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
