There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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