its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you win again, gameday.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
