i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
