capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
