He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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