I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
