New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
