Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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