Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
