I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
