I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
