I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
