Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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