i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
