Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
