i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
