we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't EVER smell your tampon
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize