You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
