I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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