To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
